Colombian drug dealers

I have been concerned of late that my RS4 B7 whilst fast and alot of fun to drive, is not that fast and sometimes feels as flat as Kiera Knightly's midriff in the middle of the rev range. With these doubts in the back of my mind, I decided to take advantage of a half price rolling road testing offer at renowned Audi tuning specialists QST in Haywards Heath.

An hour there confirmed my worst fears when Kim gently presented me with the printouts of the testing - the car is only making 307 bhp instead of the manufacturer's claimed 414 bhp and Kim's expected normal of around 370 bhp (apparently 414 is but a pipe dream of Audi's!). Torque is also well down on that quoted by Audi. This means it is not only making less than my old EVO FQ330, a much lighter car, but also less than the Audi S4 of the same generation. A serious issue!

According to Kim the cause will be the common issue of there being more coke in the valve system than in a Colombian drug dealer's suitcase. The valves are in need of a thorough blast out, apparently this is done with a special machine using hazelnuts?!! So tomorrow first thing it will be a serious chat with the Audi dealer to see about rectification at their cost hopefully. They shall remain nameless and blameless while I give them the benefit of the doubt in dealing with this matter at their or Audi's expense.